Why GOD, Why? I ran over my cat today!!!!!

RIP TIGER

I don't even have words to express the grief I'm feeling.
The GUILT
The anger, that I am the one who ran over my beautiful cat.
I loved him so much.

He was the BEST FREAKIN CAT EVER, and I will miss him
I will miss him rubbing against my legs everyday
I will miss his BEAUTIFUL green eyes, the most beautiful eyes ever
I will miss him walking with us down the street, EVERYWHERE
Everyone that met him would always say how awesome he was
He was the friendliest cat
He was the best companion
The kids adored him
Even my mom who is not a pet person, LOVED him so much

He ran out of food yesterday, and my mom must have reminded me a million times to get Tiger food
So yesterday and today he got spoiled with whole albacore tuna, I was just joking that he loves running out of food, because thats when he gets the yummy stuff :)

Just this morning, my mom and I watched him as he devoured his food
He was so beautiful, we loved on him SOOOO much today

I just can't believe he's gone

Right before my eyes, I saw him take his last breath

It's just unbelievable. WHY me, WHY did I have to be the one to take his life

I just couldn't stop shaking, the kids ran out to see, and everyone was screaming, crying, I just killed him, I just killed Tiger

It was supposed to be a happy day, everything was perfect, I was heading to the gym for my yoga class and to go rock climbing with the kids

If I had left a minute earlier, if I had left five minutes later

If I didn't leave at all

If I had looked behind my van, like I always do.

This time I only saw the kids bike to the side, and I don't know why, but I never checked for the cat
WHY DIDN'T I CHECK for the cat?

WHY

WHY

WHY

The kids said he was sitting in the driveway cleaning himself just minutes before we left
I called them all to hurry and get in the car
We were all thinking about the gym, rock climbing, and NOBODY thought about Tiger

I'm sorry baby, I'm SOOOOOOOOOO sorry.

I love you, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU with all my heart!!

I took some pictures of him, I will miss him always.

This is the hardest it's ever been on me to lose an animal. I just can't imagine I could cry so many tears for a cat, but damn it, I LOVED that cat so much, and I FUCKING killed him. How can I ever forgive myself for that?

It's been four hours since it happened, and I haven't stopped crying since. I just can't stop thinking about him, right now, he would have been sleeping on his favorite spot in the garage. We would have called him in for the night, and gave him one last rub before heading to bed.

Now he's dead, and cold in a grave. I feel so guilty, so bad, so sad, so hurt.

All I know is that he didn't suffer.

It happened so fast, I backed up, ran over him, saw him dash to the front of the driveway, and thats when I jumped out of the car, realizing what just happened

By the time I got to him, (5 seconds later) he took his last breath, there was NOTHING I could do.

There was no blood, no visible sign of injury, he just looked like he was sleeping, only this time he would never wake up, and I'm flippin crying like a crazy mad woman all over again, I just can't get the thought out of my head, I just can't stop seeing him. I know he didn't suffer, it was just SO fast.

If there is anything I can be thankful for, it is that!

I'm so sorry everyone, I know this was a terribly sad post, but I just HAD to sahre his story, and what I did. I had to write about it, and get all my feelings out, and I have to share some pictures with all of you, because I loved him, and I always will

He was a HUGE part of our family, there will never be another cat like him, EVER.

My husband said, that you never know why things like this happen, and I know that's the truth.

Would I rather have had him die a painful death some other way, or hit by a strangers car on the road, where he was left by himself, NO of course not.

But this pain is just unbearable, I am 100%responsible, and he never saw it coming. He trusted us so much.

This is just something I can't explain, to know that you are responsible for your animals death.

Oh gosh, my heart is hurting so bad, I miss my cat :(

Do you believe cats, (animals) know when they are loved?
Do you believe they can love you back?

I know Tiger loved us, and I sure hope he knows how much we loved him too, FORVER!!!

 We buried him in my daughters blanket, so he would be forever warm.

We all wrote on this makeshift cross, that just happened to by Dino D's sword. It was from him to Tiger, so he could remember him always.

My mom, bless her heart, she was so strong, and dug the hole, and took care of everything for me. I don't know what I would have done without her, I was just a mess. Shaking, I"M STILL SHAKING, and CRYING, and shaking, and crying :(

The girly, grabbed a kitty from her room, and buried it with Tiger, so of course he wouldn't be lonely. 

 My oldest, gave Tiger his book. Diary of a Wimpy Kid Diary, because it's filled with all kinds of stuff about him, and he thought Tiger should have it. I mean seriously, OMG, these kids are just making me cry even more. We all loved Tiger SO much. DId I already tell you guys that, WE LOVED TIGER!!!

 After he was buried, my mom put a planter on his grave and filled it with flowers. The princess said it was perfect, so he would never be hungry. You know because cats love to chew on grass, and plants :)

 I never quite understood the grief of losing an animal like this, it's so painful.

I just can't believe that he was with us, and now he's gone.

Just the other day I shared a picture of him on facebook, he was so peaceful sleeping on the grass, it was such a beautiful day, everything was perfect.

Now he's gone

I will ALWAYS love you TIGER!!!

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MIHM #4- Organizing my PANTRY - both of them!

Make it Happen Monday!
This week I will finish up my pantries. Yes PANTRIES!
I worked on my Under Stairs Pantry last week, and had a bit of a detour, when I had to play plumber for the day and fix a water leak.

I've pretty much finished that though, and in the process had to work on my upstairs pantry as well. So why not finish that up this week.

Here's a couple more pics at what I'm working on! Oh the joys of getting organized. It's so much fun, like FOR REAL. I'm not being sarcastic :)

This weekend passed so quickly I don't even know where it went. Despite the fact that it was a 3 day weekend for us, it's over now, and I'm feeling lazy as ever.

My little girl is sick, fever, and throwing up. {Frowny Face} No school for her tomorrow, and I'm just sitting in bed with her watching a movie.

I've actually been feeling kinda crappy the past few days as well, especially with a major headache. Sucks. It feels good to have a lazy weekend every once in a while though, he he.

One thing I am doing this week, is taking on a WATER CHALLENGE!
So far today, I've had lots of water, and just finished up two oranges. That def quenched my thirst for juice. I also had some tea this morning, AT HOME.

Will you guys join me as well?
So far I have TWO friends participating.

Ami @ ALILILLY
Lesley @ FABULOUSLY FLAWED

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Clean Drinking WATER - Shouldn't everyone have it?

What would you do if you didn't have access to CLEAN drinking water?

What would you do if your child was at risk of dying because of the water they drank?

What if your child died because they simply didn't have any?




How blessed we are to have clean water!

Water that will not make us sick.
Water that doesn't require a 5 mile walk to the closest well, and then carrying it back in a bucket to your family. Forget about having water to shower with, or flush down a toilet.

We are talking simply about having a clean drink of water.

Can you imagine?

Me neither!

This week however, lets try!

The Bargain Babe, over at ZUCHINI SUMMER is challenging us this week to be a Water Warrior.

This week you are being challenged to make a very simple sacrifice.

Instead of grabbing your normal soda, coffee, sweet tea, or any other drink you enjoy, STOP!

STOP, and grab a glass of TAP WATER, --- NOT BOTTLED --- NOT PAYED FOR WATER!

Simply replace WHATEVER you would drink and PAY for this week, with TAP WATER!

Then donate the money you saved to your favorite charity, that focuses on helping to provide clean water to those in need.

Please go read her full article WATER - Make a Difference and get all the details, and join me in taking this challenge! Please tell your friends, and lets all try and make a difference!

I am starting Monday MARCH 12  and will do the challenge for ONE WEEK!




P.S. if you would like to support Water of Life Charity by purchasing this beautiful necklace, you can do that too :) My friend Maria @ Agape Love Boutique, created this special necklace and is giving 75% of the proceeds to this very special charity Water of Life!

You can purchase this necklace and many more at her shop!CLICK HERE

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FFF - Under Stairs Pantry Makeover PART ONE

The week started ok, I had a plan in mind for the under stairs pantry, and while I knew it would take a while to complete, I certainly didn't plan for what was to come.

I went to the Home Depot, and got my wood cut. The man working in lumber was awesome. I showed him a picture of what I wanted, and he quickly busted out some numbers, did some mental measurements, and before I knew it, he was cutting all the pieces perfectly.

Once I got home, the first thing I had to do was take everything out of the pantry!

So far so good, except for all the water on the floor. Oh man, what is this, clearly there was a leak coming from somewhere, the baseboard had already started getting mildew on it, ewwww.

 After getting all the shelves out, I opened THE DOOR, and took a peak. I was almost thankful when I realized where the leak was coming from. I was seriously scared it was going to cost an arm and a leg to get fixed. But after further inspection I thought I'd try to fix it myself.

I went to Home Depot AGAIN, and this time I had the most wonderful help from the man working in plumbing. Again I showed him a picture, and he loaded me up with all the necessary tools to fix this myself. I took pics, and will tell you all about my plumbing adventures in another post, he he. It was quite funny, you don't want to miss it!

 After that unexpected detour, I finally got started on my shelves. So far everything is coming along, I'm just not quite finished. So, instead of trying to rush, I'll just do an update once it's done.

There you have it friends.

This week, I played the role of PLUMBER, and I made some shelves!

I'm kinda proud of myself if I do say so myself.

I think we'll go out to dinner tonight to celebrate, with all the money I saved from not having to call a real plumber to out.

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Q-Tip : How to wrap an extension cord

Todays super awesome Q-TIP is :

HOW TO WRAP AN EXTENSION CORD
without working out your forearms, biceps, and breaking your back, and without it becoming a big tangled mess. Sound too good to be true? Check out how I wrap MY extension cords.

Next time you use your extension cord, why not try wrapping it up with the daisy chain. It's fast, easy, painless, and so much more practical.

Hope you enjoyed todays Q-TIP.

P.s. I'm linking up to these awesome parties ---->>
All the blogs I link up to can be found in my blog rolls in my sidebar. Go see what my favorite bloggers are up to :)
P.p.s If you host a party, and don't like the way I link back, kindly let me know, and I will be happy to make it right. I think having all the parties I link up to in my blog roll in my sidebar is a wonderful way for my readers to see whats new with your blogs, as it's always being updated. No need to wonder which party started, now you can see exactly what everyone is up to right away :)

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MIHM #3 - Under the Stairs FOOD PANTRY?

Welcome to another week of MIHM.
Did you miss last week? Go check it out now :)
Make it Happen Mondays

This week I'm working on something, that I really have no idea how to make happen!
UNDER THE STAIRS - FOOD PANTRY

My mom used this space for SHOE storage before we moved in, with some extra pickle bottles, or soda cans roaming around in between. Again it was a horrible waste of space, and considering that our upstairs pantry is SO SMALL, I need all the room I can get!

This WOULD be a great addition to my upstairs pantry, if only I could figure out how to make this area work for me. Clearly the shape of the room makes  it challenging!

Plus there is another small door, that leads to another small area for storage. Not that I want to use that, but I can't exactly cover it off completely, my brother has stuff in there! See it in the picture below?

Obviously I've already removed the shoes, and added more food, but this extra pantry is a LONG way from finished. I also added those black shelves in there, because I had them on hand, and I needed to add more food to that side of the wall too. 

These pictures were taken when I first moved in, so since then I've added more food, but the space is so tight, it is impossible to bend over to see what is actually on those shelves, it's hard to get to anything, and there is yet so much unused vertical space. 

I know there just HAS to be a better way. I've been trying to design a practical solution to this space, mostly in my head, lol, and I think I've got it. 

HOPEFULLY things work out like I imagine them too, and when you come back on Friday, you will be as shocked as me, IF I can pull this project off. 

WISH ME LUCK!!!

Don't forget to leave me some feedback. I'm trying all kinds of new things here, in case you haven't noticed. I'd love to see what you think of it all. If you still don't know what I'm talking about you can start by catching up on a few posts.

MIHM - Make it Happen Mondays

FFF- Finally Finished Fridays

The Hairstyle Games

P.s. I'm linking up to these awesome parties ---->>

All the blogs I link up to can be found in my blog rolls in my sidebar. Go see what my favorite bloggers are up to :)

P.p.s If you host a party, and don't like the way I link back, kindly let me know, and I will be happy to make it right. I think having all the parties I link up to in my blog roll in my sidebar is a wonderful way for my readers to see whats new with your blogs, as it's always being updated. No need to wonder which party started, now you can see exactly what everyone is up to right away :)

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The Hairstyle Games - Week #2

Ready to play?

I had lots of fun trying on a bunch of new hairstyles again. If you missed last weeks post, feel free to go take a peak, I've updated it with the correct answers!
THE HAIRSTYLES GAMES

If you want to read all about my new series, click HERE.

Here are this weeks hairstyles:
a. Cote de Pablo
b. Aubrey O Day
c. Jennifer Aniston
d. Beverly Todd
e. Judy Greer
f. Glenda Hatchet
g. Amy Adams

1.                  2. 

3.                  4. 

5.                  6. 

7.


Ready to play?  All you have to do is match the correct celebrity to the hairstyle, and try not to laugh :)Come back next week for the answers!Oh and grab a button will ya, I'm sure your friends would love to play along too.<a border="0" href="http://bellabeforeandafter.blogspot.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i939.photobucket.com/albums/ad234/bellabeforeandafter/hairstyle.jpg" /></a>
Now I just have to know, what is your favorite, and least favorite hairstyle this week, and why?

Don't forget to leave me some feedback. I'm trying all kinds of new things here, in case you haven't noticed. I'd love to see what you think of it all. If you still don't know what I'm talking about you can start by catching up on a few posts.

MIHM - Make it Happen Mondays

FFF- Finally Finished Fridays

The Hairstyle Games

P.s. I'm linking up to these awesome parties ---->>

All the blogs I link up to can be found in my blog rolls in my sidebar. Go see what my favorite bloggers are up to :)

P.p.s If you host a party, and don't like the way I link back, kindly let me know, and I will be happy to make it right. I think having all the parties I link up to in my blog roll in my sidebar is a wonderful way for my readers to see whats new with your blogs, as it's always being updated. No need to wonder which party started, now you can see exactly what everyone is up to right away :)

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FFF #2 - How to organize your Laundry Room, a picture tutorial

YAY time for another round of FINALLY FINISHED FRIDAY!

This week I worked on my LAUNDRY ROOM. I was telling you guys that even though it is like 10 times bigger than my old LAUNDRY ROOM / PANTRY, it was still a HUGE MESS! Yes there are cabinets in there, perfect for storage, but if they are not organized correctly, what's the point? Having counter space meant, the perfect landing spot to throw all our crap. Yup even the tops of the machines got used, because there just wasn't anywhere else to put this STUFF!

There was ONLY one shelf in this room, and it was above the washing machine and dryer. My mom initially had paper towels up there, and I other misc items that made NO SENSE at all, because SO much vertical space was being wasted. This is when we first moved in!


I took ALL the pots and pans she had hidden in her cabinets, and put them up there. She hates it, but I love it. Now we can see exactly which pots we have, what we want to use, and yes, you need to stand on a stepping stool to reach them, but oh well. So much more practical. 


For the time being I'm not showing you the inside of the cabinets quite yet, I'm not finished! But, lets get started on the rest of the room shall we?

 That shoe shelf you see there was put up by me already a few weeks ago, BUT that entire corner needed improvising. It was still such a mess. I had vacuum attachment parts, a shredder, and all kinds of other CRAP on the floor.

This corner was my major project for the week. I knew I had to utilize that space. It may bot be a lot, and it had all that silver air duct stuff in the way, BUT what a waste of space it was indeed. Initially I thought I would put ONE shelf up towards the top, and hang some clothes from it. Then realized a hanger wouldn't even fit, because of the silver stuff. So then I had to move on to plan B.

You see all those lovely little wire shelves there? Yup I installed those, and don't even think for one second it was easy. First of all it was my first time installing wire shelves, and while it's not exactly HARD, it was in this case, because it was such a crammed corner. Plus you REALLY need to measure everything perfectly, which I did not. I'll tell you all about HOW to INSTALL WIRE SHELVES later!

BUT look at what a difference it made. I was able to take ALL my crap that was lying around and put it on those shelves. While it still looks extremely cluttered, and messy, I assure you it's not. I'm sure once I pretty up the box I use to hold my cleaning towels, and do something about the silver air ducts and the ugly heater, it will look much better, he he. 

Oh and did I tell you these were FREE. I had a whole bunch of wire shelves that a friend gave me over 2 years ago, how sweet hugh? I never got around to using any of it, BUT now I'm finding all kinds of ways to use it. This is just the beginning people!!

Totally useful for the laundry room. I was able to put all the small stuff in there. 

Shoe polish, sponges, extra floor pads, etc. Totally get one, it's awesome.

These shoe racks on the other hand, were NOT FREE. I know I could have gone WAY cheaper, but I LOVE them, and sometimes, you just have to splurge a little. I'll talk about these SHOE RACKS later too. I seriously LOVE them,

Here's something different. Instead of putting all your shirts on hangers, you could just throw them up on this utility hook. It's just like putting them on the back of a chair, it keeps them from getting wrinkled, and when you're done you can just gently grab them and go to your closet and hand them up. Much MUCH faster if you're in a hurry, and they will not get wrinkled.

Clearly because you can have the UGLY silver duct pipes and heater staring at you from both directions, lol. No seriously....... it is a wonderful addition. It's a great place to get one last peek at yourself before heading out the door. AND it does make the room seem bigger, more open, less like a laundry room. Now if I can just make it look even prettier. I'm sure I'll get to it one day. For now, I'm just super happy that it's way more organized!!

 

So what do you think? Is it much better or what? Did you learn anything new to apply to your own laundry room makeover?

Don't forget to leave me some feedback. I'm trying all kinds of new things here, in case you haven't noticed. I'd love to see what you think of it all. If you still don't know what I'm talking about you can start by catching up on a few posts.

MIHM - Make it Happen Mondays

FFF- Finally Finished Fridays

The Hairstyle Games

If you LOVED this post, why don't you consider sharing it on :

FACEBOOK - TWITTER - or PINTEREST

P.s. I'm linking up to these awesome parties ---->>

All the blogs I link up to can be found in my blog rolls in my sidebar. Go see what my favorite bloggers are up to :)

P.p.s If you host a party, and don't like the way I link back, kindly let me know, and I will be happy to make it right. I think having all the parties I link up to in my blog roll in my sidebar is a wonderful way for my readers to see whats new with your blogs, as it's always being updated. No need to wonder which party started, now you can see exactly what everyone is up to right away :)

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